Learning from Heartbreak

This is interesting. Pretty sure that I wrote a blog like this before. But here goes nothing.

I wish that I was still with Dallin. I wish that he would be on the same page as me or that maybe I wasn't so pushy. This is what I keep thinking. That if I had just let things slide that Dallin and I would still be together. Instead of me being alone and writing this blog we would be sitting on the couch and cuddling talking about how much fun we had at the bonfire and how crazy my roommates are. We would talk about how my interview went and he would tell me that he knew I would do amazing because I am amazing. He would make me feel so special and loved. I love him. I miss him.

I stinks when the person you love isn't in the same place in life that you are. Looking back I think that I always knew that I was going to be ready for more, for even marriage in the future and he wouldn't be. It stinks because I blinded myself or I let myself be blinded. The saying that love is blind really is true. I think back on our relationship and how I was never a priority in his life and how I just let that slide and slide. How I let it slide that we could only talk when he had nothing going on, how he only thought about contacting me when he was bored. I let myself be blind to think that I could be ok with that. Maybe some girls can and maybe Dallin will one day find a girl who can, but I can't. I can't do that. I need to be with somebody who wants to talk to me as much as I want to talk to them. I need to be with a person who wants a future with me.

My relationship with Dallin has been very good for me though because I have learned so much. I have learned that there are guys out there who are amazing, Dallin was amazing. He had a great sense of humor and could make me laugh even on my bad days. Dallin always saw and pointed out my strengths he helped me see that I am an amazing person and that I can do great things. I learned that there really are guys who are strong in the Gospel and who honor their priesthood. I learned that there are people out there who really like me for me. One of the best things about Dallin is that I always felt comfortable with who I am. I loved that I could be so open with Dallin. I really could tell him my thoughts and feelings and he accepted me with them. Yet I always felt that I could improve. I didn't feel that I needed to do this improvement because I needed to or because Dallin judged me but that I wanted to. I felt that the changes that I was making was drawing me closer to God. Dallin just helped me want to become a better person.

Of course I hope that someday I find that person that wants to have a future with me as much as I want to have a future with them. Right now I wish that was Dallin. I wish he would change his mind and see that we could have a wonderful future together. But I can't blame him for not being ready, I definitely was not ready when Brock and I were engaged. I only hope that I don't have to deal with another heartbreak because I don't know how many more times my heart can break. With this break-up I feel more optimistic about the future. I know that someday I will find that person that I can have a family with. I am not as bitter as I was when I broke up with Brock. I am still hurt and I still miss Dallin daily. I still wish that things will work out between us. Sometimes I wonder if God had me go through this experience so that I would realize that I am now ready for marriage. I am ready to start my future whatever that entails. Well I say to that "Yes God I did learn the right lesson. I am ready for my future to begin. Just don't make me wait too much longer." 

Growing up = Yum

I am graduating soon.

I know that this sounds crazy but it is true. I graduate on December 14 and then I do my student teaching from January 18-May10.

Now before all those people who watched me grow up tell me that I am not old enough to graduate, I will tell you something. I Know!

Heck no I am not old enough to graduate. I am not old enough to be a teacher. I am not old enough to be an adult. Heck no.

Sometimes I wish I could go back being a younger kid. If that happened I would bask in the joy of youthier youth and never say I can't wait to grow up. I would most definitely take more time to play outside and truly live up my imagination during the summer. Willow tree anyone?

Sadly I can't though and I must face the reality that I am becoming the A word. No not the swear word but an adult. I kind of feel that it is just as bad.

Luckily for me and maybe the rest of the world I was born with a crazy side that will forever help me stay somewhat young. So I guess in the long run I don't have to worry about growing up because most likely I won't ever fully accomplish that.

80s dinosaur crazinesses

Sister Crikette

So I am back from my wonderful mission. It is a very interesting experience adjusting to non-missionary life. But I will survive.

Here is an awesome gift that a lovely senior missionary couple gave me. Isn't it just amazing? I think that it matches this blog perfectly. Here is the story behind it.

 In our mission we had a senior missionary couple, Elder and Sister Ives, that came to the mission the same time that I did. Elder Ives was in charge of the vehicles and Sister Ives was in charge of the phones and housing. Well Elder Ives found out what my first name was and loved it. Or maybe he just loved to tease me about it. Well for the first little while he would only call me Sister Crikette until I chastised him enough and then he started calling me Sister "C" Jensen with of course hints at the "C" standing for Crikette and then moved to just calling me Sister Jensen. We had a whole bunch of fun for 18 months teasing each other. Well when it was time for me to go home I had Elder Ives write in my good-bye journal. When I got it back from him I found this amazing gift! Isn't it just awesome? Thank you Elder Ives!

Elder Ives, Me, Sister Ives

Other Blog

Ok so I have another blog, a missionary blog and I would love if you all would check it out and perhaps follow it. It's got great inspirational messages that all should love and enjoy. If you like it you could comment. If you hate it you could comment too. If you have any amazing ideas that would be another great reason to comment. The web site for it is http://www.happycrikette.blogspot.com/.

February 12,2011

Sorry for the slight delay. Updating her blog A.S.P
-Rashelle

Mon, December 6, 2010

Hello Family,

How goes it? This week once again has been slow. I mean slow, but we did get Leon to commit to pray about whether he needs to be baptized again. So we found out the best time to go and see him which is in the morning. Other than that he falls asleep in the middle of him talking to us. But no worries we will get him baptized.

Tomorrow is our Zone Conference and that is pretty exciting. I love Zone Conference because you learn so much also it is great to see all the different missionaries. Once again we got assigned to sing but this time it is the whole zone and not a duet.

Pretty much all of our investigators are avoiding us. They don't answer our phone calls and they don't keep their appointments but no worry I am not going to give up on them. I am just going to believe that they are busy with the holiday season.

Transfers are coming up and I kind of have mixed feelings about it. Part of me wants to be transfered and then part of me doesn't. Well it is more than part that doesn't. I just feel like there is more for me to do in this area. Hopefully the Lord and President agrees and I don't get transfered. Also it would not be fun to be transfered right before Christmas.

Yesterday in Relief Society we had a really good lesson on charity and of President Monson's talk in the Relief Society general broadcast. I wasn't able to watch it in the MTC and I haven't read it yet so I really enjoyed this lesson. It kind of ties in with this Christmas season. It seems that when Christmas rolls around that everyone becomes more friendly and charitable. What a better time to recommit ourselves to truly being more Christlike than the time that we celebrate His birth. I think that the greatest gift we can give our Lord is love. Love for Him and love for our fellowmen. If we truly love the Lord and love our fellowmen then we don't have time to commit any type of sin. If we truly loved I guess we would be perfect but I know that it is something that we can all be working on all the time.

Alright sorry that this letter is so short but I know that this week will be better.

Love you lots

Sister Jensen

Mon, November 29, 2010

Dear Family

I just want to start off by saying how much I love you guys. I was looking through the pictures that Mom and Amber sent me of Savannah and this morning I was looking at the picture of us at Amber's wedding and I was hit with how much I love and miss you. Thank you for your emails and letters they really do brighten my day. Holidays are a hard time to be away from home but I can just imagine how hard it is for Heavenly Father to send us here to earth our stay here is much longer than my stay here in Montana. I hope all is going well and that your Thanksgiving was good.

This week Trevor and Alyssa dropped us. Alyssa said that they were comfortable in their church and while they enjoy our visits they are fine where they are.

We committed Leon to baptism this week and he told us he was already baptized. We then taught him about how we need to be baptized by someone holding the priesthood authority of God. We also asked him if he thought the church was true and he said he didn't know so we committed him to pray about it and on Wednesday when we see him again we will talk about the answer he received. I hope that he recognizes the answer he receives and decides to be baptized. That would be so amazing. We found the best time to catch him is in the mornings because he doesn't fall asleep on us then.

Also an interesting thing happened this week. A former investigator from last year called us randomly one day. She must have kept the missionaries phone number from when the elders were in this area. So we went over there and visited her. She didn't necessarily want to take the lessons again but were wondering if some of the church members could help her around her house. The reason she called us was because she felt that out of all the people on the world she could trust Mormons coming in her house. Carol is a very interesting character but she is very nice.

This past week the temperature got to -14. It was very very cold and Sister Nielson and I were privileged to not have the car that day. We were lucky to have some really good members that gave us some rides but we did walk a lot too. It was very cold. I was thinking how whenever I go back down to St. George and I complain that I am going to have a heat stroke and die I think that I would still take the -14 to the 114. We received a lot of snow this week and I very grateful that I have boots and the lizard coat.

Our Thanksgiving went well. In the morning we ate breakfast and played games with the elders and then for the Thanksgiving feast we went to Bishop's Stott's house. Now in the Lake Hills ward there are like a billion Stotts and they were all there so it was a pretty good get together. The only thing that was sad was they didn't have any pie. Now I know I am not the biggest pie lover but Thanksgiving without pie is almost as bad as having Thanksgiving with no turkey. We played on game that I think our family would love. It is called, "In a pickle" and pretty much you just make things up the whole game. It is pretty ridiculous but I think perfect for our family.

Sister Nielson is pretty cool. It is strange to think that it has already been three weeks into the transfer and that it is half way over. I hope that President doesn't transfer either one of us at the end of this transfer. I would love to be able to serve with her again.

Oh yeah I may or may not have cut my hair.

Well I hope you all have a wonderful week and that you don't get into too much trouble.

Love you lots,

Sister Jense